


in the morning (you're not holding on to me)

by felicityollies



Series: The Summer of Love [10]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Light Angst, Shower Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2020-07-12 11:27:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19945414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicityollies/pseuds/felicityollies
Summary: Oliver and Felicity have been friends with benefits for a long time, but Oliver is starting to want more.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> olicity summer sizzle 2019 - shower sex + weekly challenge (temporary bliss by the cab lyrics)
> 
> this is last week's challenge but i had a bad week and didn't get a chance to do it so here it is!!

Sunlight streamed in between the curtains, landing on Oliver’s eyes. He blinked them open and peered over to the other side of the bed. He spread his hand across the empty space. His fingers gripped the black cotton sheets. He shouldn’t have expected anything different. She was never one to spend the morning with him. He was surprised she hadn’t kicked him out already. 

He closed his eyes again, turning his face into the pillow. Oliver knocked on her apartment door at two in the morning. She answered it, standing there in nothing but a t-shirt and her lacy panties. She looked at him with that smirk on her face. The one that made him weak; the one that told him she was thinking things that she shouldn’t. _“It’s about time you showed up,”_ she purred. 

He knew he should get out of there. Last night was over and the morning had begun. Morning was different. Felicity was different. She didn’t feel the same way about him in the morning as she did at night. She was cold and indifferent. Felicity was probably expecting him to be gone as soon as she got back. 

Where was she?

He listened carefully and caught the subtle sound of the shower a few rooms down. 

His stomach clenched. Why did he keep doing this to himself? He should just go in there and tell her the previous night was their last night together. 

Oliver crawled out of bed. He stood tall and told himself he could do this. He deserved better. Part of him wilted at the thought. No, he had to stay strong. 

He pulled on his pants and walked down the hallway to her bathroom. Without knocking on the door, he pushed the door open. 

“Felicity,” he said sternly. 

He stopped when he saw her in the shower. Water cascaded down her body in a smooth waterfall. She leaned her head back into the water, her hands ran over her hair. Felicity’s body curved, giving him a full view of every beautiful piece. He licked his lips. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. 

“Are you going to stand there or are you going to join me?” 

Oliver’s brain scrambled when he was around her. He couldn’t help it. His pants dropped and he popped the door of the shower open. Scalding water hit his skin, but he ignored the slight pain.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. 

She looked up at him with a wide sparkling smile. “I’m surprised you’re still here.” 

“I know, you usually kick me out by now.” 

“Well…” she shrugged. 

A pang struck his heart. He ignored it, pressing his body against hers. Instead of focusing on the pain in his heart, he kissed her. This is what they were good at. This is why he came to her apartment almost every night. He could bury his feelings inside of her. Drown in her. He backed her up against a wall, lifting her until her legs wrapped around his waist. Her head knocked into the wall as he kissed her roughly. 

Felicity ran her fingers through his damp hair. She gripped it tightly and gave a little tug. He groaned into her mouth. He held her up with one hand while the other squeezed her left breast gently. He massaged the mound in his palm before switching to the other. His cock hardened as the second passed. He loved touching her. Her body was a wonderland he could explore. 

“Oliver,” she moaned. 

“Yes,” he reached between them, guiding his length to her entrance. He slipped into her quickly. “Fuck.” 

He thrust in and out of her. More moans fell from her lips. It was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Every time she whispered his name, he could feel a jolt of pleasure run through his body. He felt like there was a connection between them when they were like this. Like they could be more. 

“Felicity,” he groaned, picking up the pace.

“Oh, Oliver!” 

His hand slipped down between them. He found her clit and began rubbing it in merciless circles. She arched her body into his. He released her clit and continued to slam into her. 

“Fuck,” he pushed himself to keep going until he felt her walls clenching around his cock. Her thighs quaked around him. “Yes!” He hit his climax seconds after she did. Oliver pulled out in time to shoot his load across her stomach. 

He panted watching his cum hit her creamy skin. “Fuck,” he whispered. 

Felicity’s heavy breathing caught his attention. “It’s a good thing I hadn’t washed my body yet.” 

He helped her down to the tile and watched her rinse her body off. “You can leave now,” she said after a couple of seconds. 

He frowned. Here it was again. The reason he came into the bathroom, to begin with. “What?” 

“Go home, Oliver. I have to get ready for work.” 

“Why do you do this every time?” He asked. “Why can’t we spend the morning together?” 

“Spending the morning together is for people in a relationship. We’re not in a relationship, this is just sex.” 

His chest tightened. “Felicity…” 

“Don’t. Get out, Oliver.” 

He sighed and left the shower. Oliver dried himself off quickly and pulled his pants back on. “I want to talk about this.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” 

“Then we’re not doing this anymore.” He kept his back to the shower. He couldn’t even look at her. 

“You don’t mean that.” 

Goddammit. He knew he was addicted to her. Oliver wanted her. He needed her. He loved her. Oliver never should have fallen in love with her. That was the problem. It was supposed to just be sex. That was it. Why couldn’t he be happy with that?

“I do. I can’t do this anymore.” 

“Why?”

He opened his mouth to say, _I love you_ , but instead, he said, “It doesn’t matter.” 

The water shut off behind him and the shower door opened. Felicity wrapped herself in a towel and moved to stand in front of him. 

“You’re walking away from a good thing,” she snapped. 

He looked at her for a long moment. “No, I’m not.” 

Oliver walked passed her and towards the front door. “If you want to have that talk you know where I am.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back by popular demand // this was supposed to only have two parts and it intended it to end here, but i said that about Love is Blind and i’m having second thoughts, so we’ll just [vague gesture]

When Oliver didn’t knock on her door that night, Felicity really began to wonder if he meant it when he said it was over. She waited a few moments longer before heading to bed. Stopping in the hallway, she gave one last glance to the door. Nothing. Not a single sound. Her head fell, her eyes drifting to the floor. She wouldn’t feel hurt because of him. There wasn’t anything to feel hurt about anyway. They were fuck buddies and nothing more. She didn’t want to be anything more than that. No. The last time she put her heart into somebody else’s hand they tore her apart. She wouldn’t do it again. Not for Oliver. Not for anybody. He hadn’t said he wanted more, but she knew that’s where it was going. She knew him. She knew that look on his face when he started to say her name. Why else would he walk away from a good thing? 

She awoke to her phone vibrating next to her head. “Who the fuck,” she grumbled. 

Without her glasses the message was blurry. She brought it closer to her face anyway. She blinked a couple of times, forcing herself to read it. _**Brunch 10:30**_. Alonzo’s. She supposed she could be bothered to get out of bed for a mimosa. Felicity texted Dinah back and put her phone back on her bedside table. She had about an hour before she needed to get ready. She could sleep just a little bit longer. 

The next thing she knew, her phone was vibrating again. This time a phone call. 

“Hello?” 

“Felicity,” Dinah dragged out her name the way mother’s did when the child did something wrong. “It’s ten forty-five.” 

“Shit.” She rubbed her face. “I’ll be right there.” 

She hung up the phone and climbed out of bed. Felicity skipped the shower and yanked her hair back into a tall pony-tail. She tugged on a light blue dress and a pair of five inch heels. With a spritz of perfume and a snag of her purse, she was out the door. She knew she was barely presentable, but it was just her and Dinah and Dinah didn’t give a fuck. 

Felicity took a cab to Alonzo’s, arriving there almost an hour late. “Shit, she’s going to kill me.” 

She marched into the building, holding her head high, refusing to let Dinah smell her fear. She spotted the brunette at a table. Her smile faltered a little when she noticed Tommy, her husband, was sitting there as well. Whatever. It was fine. She could third-wheel it with Dinah and Tommy. She’d done it before. Then she noticed a third drink on the table. It wasn’t a mimosa, so she knew it wasn’t for her. There was a fourth person at the table, but they were suspiciously missing at the moment. 

“Hello,” she said cautiously. “I’m starting to wonder why you dragged me out of bed.” 

“I wanted to hang out with you.” Dinah smacked her hand gently. 

Felicity sat down beside her. Across from the taken seat. 

“I’m just here to look pretty.” Tommy grinned. 

Then she heard a familiar voice that made her stomach drop. “Sorry that phone call took so long there was an order mixed up at the… oh, Felicity.” Oliver stopped in front of his chair. 

They stared at each other for a long moment. She wanted to turn and run. Maybe it made her a coward, but after the things he said. How could she face him? Was she supposed to just pretend everything was fine? Was she supposed to look him in the eye and tell him there was nothing to talk about? That he couldn’t have her. Would never have her. She couldn’t give herself to him completely. Her heart was hers and hers alone.

It was difficult looking at him and thinking these things. He stood there, one of the most beautiful men she had ever seen. Ever been with. His startling blue eyes stared at her, begging her for answers. She had to admit, she missed his body against hers the previous night. Her bed was empty and lonely. She missed the way his scruff scraped across her jaw and neck as he kissed at that sweet spot on her neck. She missed her fingers running through his hair. She missed the tightness of him pressed against her. Felicity knew, she knew, he was one of the kindest people, a soft man, and loving. But she couldn’t do it. Wouldn’t do it. It only takes once for someone to break your heart. 

Dinah cleared her throat. “So.” 

Oliver smoothed his hand over his tie and sat down. 

“Is everything alright?” Tommy asked. 

“Fine.” Oliver and Felicity answered at the same time.

Tommy and Dinah glanced at each other before looking back at them. “Okay,” Dinah muttered. “Why don’t we eat then.” 

Felicity ordered a mimosa, but declined on food. She wasn’t in the mood anymore. She stayed quiet and sipped at her drink. Though what she really wanted to do was chug it and order another one. Her eyes stayed off of Oliver. She could feel him glancing in her direction every couple of minutes. She knew he was going to burst if he didn’t say something to her. She took in a deep breath and kept to herself throughout the entire meal. 

After her second mimosa, she stood. “I’m sorry, I have to go.” 

Felicity reached into her purse, but Dinah put her hand on her arm. “I got it. You get out of here, but you better call me later.” 

Felicity nodded. She didn’t say anything to either Oliver or Tommy before heading toward the exit. Leaning off the sidewalk, she tried to hail another cab, but she couldn’t seem to get anyone to stop. She sighed heavily, waving her arm. She wanted to get out of there and go back home. Was that too much to ask? 

“Felicity,” Oliver’s voice came from behind her. 

“Go away, Oliver. You made your decision.” 

“How can you not want to talk about it?” 

“I just don’t.” 

He took a step closer, dropping his voice. “Was it only sex? You never wanted anything more?” 

“Yes.” She looked up at him, meeting those amazing blue eyes. 

His face dropped. He started to pull away from her. His fists clenched not in anger. There was not anger on his face or in his body. He looked… broken. 

“I told you I didn’t want to talk about this. I can’t give you want you want. I’m not… I don’t date, Oliver. You knew that when we got into this. I told you, no feelings just sex.” 

“I know that. I.. I never said there were feelings. I just asked if you ever wanted more.” 

“Then what do you want?” 

“A chance.” 

“I can’t give that to you.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re going to break my heart.” Her voice cracked. 

He looked at her, really looked at her. She felt like his gaze was going right through her. She squirmed. “I’m not going to hurt you.” 

“They all say that.” 

“One chance. If I screw up. Even if it’s the tiniest screw up, I’ll leave you alone forever.” 

Everything inside her head screamed no. Her body screamed run. Her heart ached for the loneliness to end. 

“Oliver.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you ever just want to grab onto the shoulders of a character and scream “COMMUNICATE”

Their date was okay. Oliver really wanted to romance her, but she declined. They sat in her apartment and ate pizza while they watched T.V. She slung her legs across his lap. He rested one hand on her thigh. He didn’t know what was on T.V. Oliver didn’t have that much time to watch shows. He spent most of his days at his place of business. His eyes flickered across the screen. Something about a bunch of cops and a heist going on. It was amusing at least. He thought the goofy cop and the smart cop made a cute couple. 

Felicity sighed and put her crust back into the pizza box. 

“You okay?” he asked quietly. 

“Yep.” 

He tossed the rest of his pizza back into the box as well. Oliver wanted to be excited. He was finally on a date with Felicity Smoak. He had dreamed of this moment, but there was a lack of excitement from her. He wondered if she even wanted this or if she were only humoring him. He wanted to get hurt about as much as she did. 

Felicity leaned up closer to him. She pressed her hand against his chest and looked up into his eyes. Part of him wanted this. The other part feared falling into old habits. She pressed a kiss to his lips and he pulled away. 

“What the fuck?” she demanded. 

“I…” 

“I thought we were on a date,” she said. 

“I’m not in the mood, Felicity.” 

She relented and pulled away from him. “Okay.” 

Felicity sat up straight on the couch a few inches away from him. He sighed, looking toward the other side of the room. An awkwardness fell over them. He squirmed. This was not how they were. They normally had sex, sure. But they were friends too. They should be able to spend time together without being all over each other. What the fuck was wrong with them? He ran fingers through his hair and sighed again. 

“I don’t think I want to have sex for awhile.” 

“Fine.” 

“You’re mad.” 

“It would be ridiculous for me to be mad at you for not wanting to have sex with me.” 

“But…” 

“Why don’t you want to fuck me, Oliver?” 

“Because I don’t want this to be like last time. I don’t want us to fuck, sleep, and then you kick me out.” 

“I won’t. I said I was going to give you a chance.” 

“I know.” 

“You don’t trust me.” 

Oliver couldn’t look her in the eyes. 

Felicity stood. “Get out.” 

“Felicity.” He forced himself to meet her gaze. “I don’t want to get hurt either.” 

“What have I done-” she stumbled over her words. It must have been some look on his face. She swallowed and shook her head. “Just go.” 

Oliver’s chest constricted. Everything tumbled out of control before he could stop it. He didn’t want to get hurt. It was only fair, but somehow he was screwing this up. 

“I need some time to think, Oliver, please.” 

“I’m going.” He pushed himself up and grabbed his jacket off the back of the couch. 

Without looking back at her, he left the apartment. He had done this walk so many times. For once it wasn’t an actual walk of shame. Oliver shrugged his jacket on as he exited the building. He hit the sidewalk and decided to walk home. It wasn’t horrendously far. He needed the alone time to think. He wondered if he should back off of Felicity. She wasn’t ready. He shouldn’t have even asked her to go on a date. He wanted a chance so badly, but maybe he pushed her too early. 

He cared about her so deeply. They had been doing this thing for so long. A year, possibly more. They went out for drinks together or with their friends. Sometimes he came over earlier in the night for a moment. It always ended in sex. It was what they were good at. They tangled together in the sheets. Always her bed. He realized months ago there was a reason for that. He didn’t think she had ever actually been in his apartment. She wanted to be in her own. Her own safe space. She could kick him out and pretend he was never there. 

Oliver found himself standing in front of his home, but not wanting to go in. It was lonely inside. He hated sleeping alone. He got used to sleeping beside Felicity even if it meant getting kicked out the next morning. He forced himself to go inside. Kicking off his boots, he shuffled inside and toward his bedroom. He didn’t bother to change before flopping face down on his bed. Sleep would come eventually. He hoped.

* * *

Oliver stood behind the counter at his bookstore, Buy the Book. Boxes piled up behind him. Books he needed to label and put on the shelf. He was the only one in the shop at the moment and he didn’t want to veer away from the counter in case someone came in. It was a Wednesday morning and it was unlikely that anyone would come in, but he had hope. Business was slow. Bills were piling up. His landlord was breathing down his neck. He sighed. It didn’t help that there was a miscommunication and somehow he had ordered a hundred more books than intended. He was going to have to have a book sale soon to rid himself of the overstock. 

Maybe he would bring in a good portion of new customers. 

The bell above his door jingled. He perked up. It was only Tommy. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Can’t I stop by to see you?” 

“No.” 

“Fine. Dinah wanted me to see how the date went.” 

“You couldn’t have texted me?”

“You might lie if I texted you.” 

“I don’t lie.” 

“Hmm.” Tommy hummed. 

Oliver rolled his eyes. “Does that mean Dinah is talking to Felicity?” 

“Most likely.” 

“What is it with you two?” 

“We’re married and bored.” 

Oliver sighed. “It was… bad.” He told Tommy everything that had happened. “I don’t want to get hurt and neither does she. We’re… stuck.” 

“You’re not going to get anywhere like that.” Tommy flipped through a self help book on dating that had been sitting on the counter. “Communication is the key.” 

“Did Dinah tell you that?” 

“No.” He snapped the book shut, scowling at Oliver. “I know shit.” 

“Sure.” 

“Look, you can sit here and make fun of me or you can get the girl.” He poked Oliver in the chest. “If you don’t talk your shit out like grown ups you’re going to keep being stuck.” 

Oliver shook his head. They were talking. That wasn’t the problem. 

Tommy sighed. “You’re stubborn.” 

“You’re nosy.” 

“Whatever. You’re going to break up the team like this and then none of us can hang out anymore.” 

“So that’s what this is about?” 

“Dinah said to stop making shit awkward.” 

“And what do you think?” 

“Stop making shit awkward. I want to hang out with my friends,” he complained. “I also want you and Felicity to be happy.” 

Oliver ran his fingers through his hair. “Fuck.” 

“What are you going to do?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t think this is going to work out anymore. I care about her a lot, but I don’t think she’s ready for this.” 

“Shit.”


End file.
